What We Learned This Week In Jamaica

January 7-14

1) The Universal Service Fund has a new CEO.
Daniel Dawes, formerly of the Transport Authority, will replace the corruption-plagued Suzette Buchanan as the head of the entity.
The fund, also under the purview of the Ministry of Science, Energy & Technology, is supposed to manage the monies collected from the levies from the telecommunications sector.
Mr Dawes seems to be qualified for the position, unlike Mz Buchanan, and WWLTW hopes he’s also more capable, observant and straightforward than she was.
2) Last month, Opposition spokesperson on Tourism McNeill wondered aloud why the Dunn’s River Falls audit wasn’t made public.
This month, the PM says it will be and there will be no cover-up, laying the blame squarely at the “managerial” level as opposed to the “governmental”. Word on the street is the same shenanigans are still in place, albeit being done by “different heads”.
Cash Cows are hard to kill, it seems.
3) Walt B “Congo” “Crooksie” Crooks is dead.
An entertainment visionary and fellow Cornwallian, Crooksie put his indelible stamp on the MoBay entertainment scene, most notably with his Disco Inferno operations in the late 70s and throughout the 80s, where he made legendary performers a staple for all Jamaicans.
Walk good Bossy, yu lef’ yu mark!
4) A Jamerican lawyer, Michel Morgan, who specializes in litigation suits, is warning local resorts to do all in their power to avoid being sued in the US by guests who’ve vacationed at their hotels, as such litigations can be costly, both financially and p.r.-wise.
WWLTW can advise here.
Implement a policy where no employee should enter a guest’s room, and not without a body cam, in extreme cases.
Couple this with CCTV cameras around the compound.
That should put a dent in sue-happy grifters that visit our shores.
Now, as for the real offenders, that’s a different story entirely.
5) One for the ages.
It seems Half Way Tree is now being hounded by all manner of criminals, most notably ones of the “gay” persuasion, who use the nearby Tangerine Gully as their escape route.
A commuter whose phone was stolen out of her lap by one such miscreant gives a tale where the police told her that they don’t go into the gully for fear of being doused with acid.
Yes, this is what the “force” has sunk to.
On a better note, one of those vagabonds isn’t so lucky, as he/she/it was shot by a licenced firearm holder but still managed to escape in the gully.
“Authorities”, free up the licences for firearms to those that qualify!
6) The Government and Opposition met at Vale Royal once again to hammer out a crimefighting strategy.
Human rights, human resources and technology headed the discussions, and a further meeting with the private sector, church heads, the cops and soldiers was scheduled for January 16.
No word on how to attack corruption, implementation of social interventions or community policing, so I know those talks were, in the vernacular of Peter Phillips himself, So-Suh Chat!
7) So, the Government is planning a hostile “buyback” of Venezuela’s 49% stake in PetroCaribe, under the guise of “Venezuela’s reneging on refinery upgrades”, and the legitimacy of the Maduro regime.
Not a smart move by a government yet to clear itself of the rampant corruption practiced at that entity for a while now.
What will happen when someone finally gets rid of Maduro, by hook or crook?
Will the new Venezuela lend Jamaica another 3 billion US dollars, and forgive half that?
Will the new Venezuela sell us oil at the super-low rates they sold us at before?
Will common sense ever overtake Gordon House?
8 ) NIDS preparations have been moving along steadily, despite the challenge to its constitutionality which should be decided by April this year.
Government plans to spend some $60mn/year over a 5 year period on the PR & behaviour modification campaign to assimilate the public into the system.
Get interested, Jamaica: it is not Holness and the JLP, nor Phillips and the PNP that will have to repay that $9 billion:
It Will Be US The Taxpayers!
A 14 yo girl amongst a group of people shot up by a lone gunman;
“Bigga Caution” chased and shot dead by gunmen in West Kingston;
An 18 yo man shot dead inside a bar in Santoy, Hanover;
“Little Man”, shot and killed on Daffodil Avenue in South St Andrew;
Two men, killed on Gypsum Road in Bull Bay in two separate incidents, one at 2pm and the other, believed to be in reprisal for the 1st, at 7am the next morning;
A taxi driver, shot dead by unknown assailant/s in Shaw Park, Ocho Rios;
A businessman, shot outside a Supermarket in the town center of Negril, by one of two men who rode up on a bike;
“Short Man”, a vendor of Ocho Rios, shot dead in in the “Gully”, a section of Content Gardens.
10) Our Roads!
6 car/1bike collision on Lady Musgrave Rd, no deaths;
2 bus collision on the Galina main road, no deaths;
Truck overturns on Marcus Garvey Dr crash, no deaths;
Insurance bigwig flips car in Norbrook, no deaths;
Biker dead from St Mary crash;
Musician dead from Llandovery crash;
Policeman dead from Spanish Town bypass crash;
Tourist dead, several injured, including Munga Honorable in Mandela Highway crash.
Oonu guh easy panny ROAD!
11) The Death Knell is being sounded for Jamaican Marijuana as the Government plans to allow American interests to grow hemp at Long Pond Sugar Estates.
Hemp, a super-pollinator, diminishes THC count in marijuana to negligible levels, and the Jamaican THC is why we’re world-renowned.
The CLA, supposedly at the forefront of Jamaica’s marijuana, is silent on the matter because frankly, not a single person there knows an iota about the business of marijuana, because of the push by Gova-menn-t to keep the industry “clean”( read the exclusion of the victims of their decades-long battle to incriminate all who were champions of the herb).
Please, get people who are knowledgeable in the administrative and medicinal workings of marijuana to spearhead the industry, before greed and ignorance sabotages it.

QuikNotes Local
a] Uchense Wilson gang trial delayed for lack of legal representation for some gangmembers.
b] Budget tops $800bn mark.
c] Another baby abducted, this time at Victoria Jubilee.
d] Hemp being grown quietly in Portland.
e] MoBay Bypass still on track, says Holness.
f] Newscaster Dorraine Samuels to retire from TV after 40 years.

QuikNotes International
a] Trump takes to the Road on Border Wall impasse, Government Shutdown continues.
b] Massive snowstorms hit US Midwest and East.
c] $20mn raised for border wall by Army vet to be refunded by Go-Fund-Me.
d] Iran plans satellite launch; US fears ICBMs.
e] Saudi Arabian woman who locked herself in Bangkok hotel room to “escape death” in her homeland granted asylum by Canada.
f] Israel wants all persons of African descent out of the country by April.
g] China continues crackdown on Muslims.

Feel Free to add Your News in the Comments, and, til next Week,
Safe Travel Pon Di Gravel!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s